I'm currently am releasing the experience of the dis-ease referred to as rheumatoid arthritis. The work with all of this has definitely been one of my greatest teachers! I'm learning all about being flexible. :) I first looked to the regular doctor stuff and, my body being extremely sensitive to chemicals, the meds they put me on did more damage than good - not to mention one doctor would disagree with another. It felt like no one actually knew what was going on and they were just throwing pills at me to see what worked! And my body reacted to every single one of them with rare or never before seen side effects. I finally quit the dr's all together!

I learned Reiki, Chios, Shamballa Reiki, Pranic Healing, and upon combining them and remaining open created and practice my own modality. I read the likes of Carolyne Myss, Louise Hay, Barbara Brennan, Rose Rosetree, Abraham-Hicks, Mike Dooley, etc. I learned about working with crystals and flower essences, and became an adept at working with the energies of the fae through the Faerie's Oracle and then on to Tarot. I discovered New Chapter Organics and began working with various supplements, oils, juices, powders and methods and after trying many many things and after it all settled on Zyflamend from New Chapter and Glucosamine, Chondroitin and MSM complex from Whole Foods as the ones that really had an impact.

I had massages and experienced the jade thermal massagers, magnet therapy, release therapy, and cranial sacral, therapy among others. I did water aerobics and a water based form of Tai Chi called Ai Chi.I did a brief stint with yoga (wasn't ready, intend to go back), and with Qigong I actually became a certified instructor. I discovered the power of my voice, and my ability to lead people through guided meditations in a way I have yet to see anyone else do. I began to become more self realized.

I attended healing shamanic ceremonies and drum circles. I learned and then developed my own system of EFT (emotional freedom technique). I had readings and star charts done and studied empathy and traveling in spirit with Rose (ends up she lives down the street!). I learned about the Archangels and working with them for healing and wellness. I learned about telepathy, trained as a medium and worked with channeling and automatic writing. I met a twin flame soul partner (not my husband!) and had spontaneous rememberings while I learned about love and creating together and the power of holding on, and letting go.

I began to get to the roots of reality itself as I studied with Tantra Maat of Metapoints.com, learning that a field state is created whenever consciousness focuses itself with intent to understand, create, or experience, and that people joined together sharing that intent share that field state. I learned about how our whole collective reality is, you might say, one gigantic field. Fields look like bubbles and thus you get the foam of many many many fieldstates, each consciousness holding many of them (sometimes for a long time, sometimes for just as long as it takes for them to tie their shoes) all together multi-dimensionally within the momma field 'boundaries' of the generally held beliefs around the nature of reality.

I learned about the power of my voice, and words, to impact fields. I suddenly had a sense of responsibility, to save the world, and briefly became the head of an organization for the awakening of humanity where everyone was to be ego-less and self-less and release their personalities to the greater good, save for the founder who had a collection of books I was to keep safe because people would want them someday when they wrote her biography. I quit after a few days, when I realized the woman had the ego the size of a small city hidden under her supposed ego-less-ness.

I was still driven, still felt responsible, and so moved to Sedona to be with 'real' healers and teachers in a 'real' sacred place. I moved back a few weeks later having discovered people are the same over there as they are over here - they just openly flaunt it.

When I came back, last November (Nov '07), everything got quiet. I stopped seeking and got simple and still. I began to focus on learning about myself. The last of my sense of responsibility to do something to help energy went into the creation of Angels of Awakening. I began to see a therapist with my husband, and discovered that he really is my soulmate. That together he and I are perfectly matched to bring out and heal each other's deepest wounds - once we get past the intense pain of those wounds being unearthed.

Angels of Awakening closed when I began to realize that I was not living what I believed. That I wasn't being the change I wanted to see in the world, I was too busy trying to tell people about it. I knew its power, but I had yet to become it. I needed to go deeper inside, and trust that the drive to help others see themselves came from deep within me and wouldn't be forgotten. That I would meet it and align with it, where it lived, and come to embody it.

What I found worked the best was just being with myself, honoring myself, discovering the wounds that led to and perpetuated inflexible beliefs and thinking in myself and honoring those, too. Discovering that it's all in me. And that as I become the change I want to see in the world, as I become flexible, I radiate all that I have learned because I Am it. :)

I don't need to go chasing after people who need saving. Everyone is doing just fine, and I don't have a responsibility to anyone or anything but my own song - which is naturally entertwined with everyone else's and all about service, anyway! That's the beauty of it. All of our songs, I'm finding, fit together in perfect dynamic rhythm with each other. When we're in tune with ourselves, we naturally come in to tune with everyone else. :) That's my definition of Namasté. :D

So, these days, I'm all about openly sharing my song. :) This is me, what I've learned and what I'm learning, what I love and what I see from my particular branch of the tree. I love to do this... In fact, I live to do this. :D